I find Starbucks to be my blogging place. There tends to be a connection between being at Starbucks and writing blog posts. There is also a connection to Starbucks and me spending a lot of money, but that’s something else entirely.
For now, let me talk about rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate. You simply shouldn’t do it. Let me explain.
Warning: This is one of those ramble posts.
Side note: I was not “on anything” while writing this post. Okay, maybe a little coffee.
When I am at any kind of party or gathering, I first look for the cheese plate. I love cheese like a French person loves it. I’m serious. It’s the peanut butter to me jelly, or rather the cheese to my…elbow? No, wrong.
Okay, let me explain for real this time.
Deep breath. Begin.
I love cheese plates. I could live off of cheese plates, though there would also need to be crackers…and maybe a little bit of meat. Sorry, vegetarians/vegans.
Rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate is like committing and act of violence against a gopher. It’s an awful thing to do. Sorry, animal activists.
Rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate is like saying that you won’t read Dickens because of his eighty characters and three hundred plots per novel. Sorry, Boz.
Rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate is like saying James Franco is like your step-brother simply on the basis that they both really like cats. Sorry, …you.
Rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate is like—–
I did it again.
Rebecca Black would not be impressed. It’s Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rubbing your elbow in the cheese plate is merely an insult. It’s like biting your thumb at your fellow man/woman. If you saw someone rub their elbow in the cheese plate, you would not want to eat it. I don’t care whose wenis it is, you would not be fond of any artisan delicacy after such a point. It is ruined. Diseased, though hopefully not literally. Gross elbow.
I need to stop before I lose more readers than I already have by this post. But I think you understand what I’m saying by this. If not, I may try again on a day where I’m not two hours away from going bowling with my mates.
What is your personal version of “Don’t rub your elbow in the cheese plate?”
What are YOU doing this weekend?